There's no point in trying

Really, though.

It's not like they'll notice.

And I can't do anything because one path leads to an inevitable end and the other path has an even lesser chance of happening.

Talking Teeter-Totter

I've always been torn between wanting to tell my story to everyone and let them know exactly what is in my head or keeping it to myself. The perennial problem is being outwardly unhappy, which pushes people away, no matter if they say they're always there to listen; there is only so much your best friends can listen to. On the other hand, to pretend that everything is fine is to poison yourself from the inside out; it is to ignore who you are and lose yourself. So which is better? To have friends who think you are melodramatic, attention-seeking, and pessimistic, or to drown in your own mind?

I just don't know what to do anymore.

Why you so obsessed with me?

The ladies of Harry Potter are SO DAMN LUCKY

I want to be a high fashion model too sheeeeeesh

New Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Trailer Pt 1

(click)

SO DAMN EXCITED

Dear Depression

DEAR DEPRESSION,

I can’t breathe. Feel suffocated. Hurt, pain and god, oh ,god. I can’t take it anymore

I want to get out. BREAK FREE. Feel like the walls are closing in on me.

Tears are building up in my eyes but "NO, I won’t cry."

Breathe In, Breathe out, Breathe In, Breathe out while chanting "won’t cry" like magically words
which would actually make a difference.

I can feel it coming, the darkness coming for me to take me away. But, no I won’t go.

I feel myself slowly slipping away but "No, I won’t let it happen." I fight against my own thoughts, my own beliefs because I think I’m powerful enough to resist it.

I won’t let DEPRESSION win over me. "NEVER." I will fight against YOU till I die because you, depression, are my enemy. No, this is a war here. And I shall be the WINNER because I wish to.

For you, DEPRESSION have no control over me. My LIFE is mine and you shall not hover as a shadow upon it. If you push me down I will rise again, for this is a war which I shall never give up. I’ll ignore your whispers till the last of my breath. For your voice in my head won’t effect me. I will keep my FAMILY, FRIENDS and LOVE because they are mine and they will always be.

I will still SMILE over the pain you cause just to let you know that I’m the WINNER of each DAY, each WAR. If I can’t alone then I have others with me.

And if you think its weakness to ask help from help then you are wrong because asking for help takes courage and I’m strong enough to do it.

SO DEAR DEPRESSION FUCK OFF!
Yours HATEFULLY,
Sumaiya

http://xxslowlydisappearingxx.xanga.com/730135375/dear-depression/

PREACH SISTA

Class.Smoke.Repeat

and a whole lotta this goin on

Blah

I'm hurt.

Family

is more than blood ties.

AND YET....
I find myself neglecting everyone and everything. Sooner rather than later I'm going to lose everyone if I don't maintain the relationships I have now.

This past month has really shown me how much family can let you down....and how much it can pick you up.


Anyways...Emiliana keeps me going :) A while ago Feliza asked me what motivates me and I had no answer. For right now I FINALLY have one....I want to be a good role model for TS. She deserves it and I love her to pieces.