4:31 am

Nothing to do.
Nowhere to go.


I should study; no terms, though.

Last day of high school in a matter of hours.
Last time my peenteens and I will go to the same school together.
Last time I have anatomy with Greg, Jocelyn, Oliver and Jessica.
Last time I get to be the "weird girl in the corner" in Calculus.
Last time I have to sit through government.
Last time to chill with my sophomores (DRTY girl).
Last time leaving my TA class to go to ASB with Rach&Marina.
Lots of lasts
but even more firsts to come
<3

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann, Desiderata, Copyright 1952.

ehskob(2:28:28AM):	we're here to hold you up when you can't hold yourself up

Untouchable

"You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks,
even months over-analyzing a situation;
trying to put the pieces together, justifying what
could've, should've, would've, happened. Or you can just
leave the pieces on the floor and move the fuck on."




Take a look at my body
Look at my hands
There's so much here
That I don't understand

Your face saving promises
Whispered like prayers
I don't need them
I don't need them

I've been treated so wrong
I've been treated so long
As if I'm becoming untouchable

Contempt loves the silence
It thrives in the dark
With fine winding tendrils
That strangle the heart

They say that promises
Sweeten the blow
But I don't need them
No, I don't need them

I've been treated so wrong
I've been treated so long
As if I'm becoming untouchable

I'm a slow dying flower
Frost killing hour
The sweet turning sour
And untouchable

O, I need
The darkness
The sweetness
The sadness
The weakness
I need this

I need
A lullaby
A kiss goodnight
Angel sweet
Love of my life
O, I need this

Do you remember the way
That you touched me before



I'm trying to move on.
Really, I am.
But it's getting to the point where I'm struggling.

Two steps forward and one step back,
This anchor refuses to let go.

Don't let go

promise?

Till I collapse

Sometimes you just feel tired. You feel weak. And when you feel weak, you feel like you wanna just give up. But you gotta search within you, try to find that inner strength and just pull that shit out of you, and get that motivation to not give up, and not be a quitter, no matter how bad you wanna just fall flat on your face and collapse.

Till the roof comes off, till the lights go out
Till my legs give out, can’t shut my mouth.
Till the smoke clears out - am I high? Perhaps
I'ma rip this shit till my bone collapse.
Till the roof comes off, till the lights go out
Till my legs give out, can’t shut my mouth.
Till the smoke clears out and my high burn out
I'ma rip this shit till my bone collapse.

That's why you see me walk around like nothing's bothering me


I will not fall,
I will stand tall,
Feels like no one could beat me.



I can only stand tall because I have the love and support of my friends behind me.
<3

I miss you

"It's sad when people you know become people you knew, when you can walk right past someone like they were never a big part of your life, how you used to be able to talk for hours and how now you barely look at them. It's sad how times change."

Definition of what's been going on.
I miss godsmack.
I miss metwo.
I miss taylor.
I miss what we used to be
and I miss the security we felt when we were with each other.

Everything has changed.

Emotions

And where are you now, now that I need you?
Tears on my pillow wherever you go
I'll cry me a river that leads to your ocean
You'll never see me fall apart

In the words of a broken heart
It's just emotion taking me over
Caught up in sorrow
Lost in the song


I need help.
I know I do.

Love you crystal<3
ehskob:it's not your fault

I really don't know how to thank you

Prom night 2008

Paul Torres was such a fun date!



AND he's significantly taller than me.
GIGGITY
"perfect fit"
"sexxxxyyyy"
"build it up"
"look at his shoes"


Well prom was ridiculously fun. Completely worth all the trouble.
I didn't feel like I looked good, though. Hmm.

Crystal and Rachel looked beautiful!





Little bitches hit on me too much:



Went to jack in the box afterwards....guy in the van in front of us got arrested.
Then we went to greg's house....ohhhh cheryl hahahhaa




Random pictures from the night:


LOVE them<3


And now everything is coming to a close.